Re traducir inglés

Pero deben entender que ustedes son mi espectáculo.

But you have to understand, like, you're my show.

Es importante para nosotros ser número uno.

It's important to us that we're number one.

Pero para mimos post-coito... O mimos después del sexo, si eres tonto. ¿ Cuál es el...?

But for postcoital cuddling, uh, or after-sex cuddling, if you're stupid, what is the...?

Estás arrasando, Sarah.

You're killing it, Sarah.

Regalamos muñecas Barbie a nuestras hijas para que tengan una imagen de cómo deberían lucir cuando crezcan y que no es posible. Para que aprendan que son una mierda y deberían suicidarse.

We give our daughters Barbie dolls so that they have an image of what they should look like when they grow up that is not attainable so that they can learn that they're a piece of shit and they should kill themselves.

No sé a quién estamos protegiendo.

I'm not sure who we're protecting.

Están en puntillas.

They're just on tiptoes.

Tienen razón, público.

You're right, audience.

Somos iguales.

We're the same.

Y él dijo : "Dios, tienes toda la razón".

And he said, "God, you're totally right."

Dijo : "Irás al infierno".

He goes, "You're going to hell."

Son sólo juego de palabras.

They're just wordplay.

Pero no van a creer esto.

But you're not gonna believe this.

"Bueno, entonces tendrán que cerrar, ¿ verdad?".

"Well, I guess you're gonna have to close, then, aren't you?"

Porque tengo otro dato curioso que les encantará.

Because I have another fun fact for you you're gonna love.

Sólo eso me preocupa, y esto es lo que haremos.

That's all I'm worried about, and this is what we're gonna do.

La próxima vez que tengan ganas de masturbarse dentro de una media, o en la ducha, o...

The next time you feel like you're gonna jerk off into a gym sock or down your shower drain or, uh...

Esto es lo que haremos.

This is what we're gonna do.

Te pones plano...

Like, you're just flat...

Antes de hacerlo, van a ir a la clínica.

Before you do it, you're gonna come on down to the clinic.

Tomaremos una larga y delgada...

We're gonna take a long, thin...

Traeremos el ultrasonido y podrán ver realmente la vida en sus bolas.

We're gonna bring the ultrasound around, and you're gonna be able to actually see the life in your balls.

Y están todos conversando y pasa toda esta mierda.

And they're all talking, and all this shit happens in it.

Pero en realidad, mientras filman, el resto de la sala ni siquiera está.

But in reality, when they're shooting it, the rest of the room isn't even there.

"¿ Re?".

Like, "re"?

Sabía que "re" significaba de nuevo.

I knew "re" meant again.

No son monstruos.

They're not monsters.

Y hoy día, esos siguen siendo sus mejores amigos.

And, like, they're still his best friends to this day.

Y está por cumplir 80 años y siguen haciendo reuniones.

And he's about to be 80, and they're having a reunion, even.

Y me la envía con un glosario que dice quién es quién y qué están haciendo ahora.

And he sent it to me with, like, a glossary of who everybody is and what they're doing now.

Pero son chicos de 16 años.

But, you know, they're 16-year-old kids.

"Vamos ya a la sala de urgencias".

"We're going to the emergency room."

Y sin saberlo yo, les dijeron a mi amiga Amy y mi novio Michael : " Es una cirugía muy peligrosa.

And, like, unbeknownst to me, they're telling my, uh, friend Amy and my boyfriend, Michael, they're like, um, " This is a very dangerous surgery.

Y ellos me dicen : "Estás bien".

And then they're like, "You're okay."

Y porque es la naturaleza humana quitarse las cosas de la garganta si uno está despierto, tuvieron que atarme las manos.

And then because it's human nature if you're awake to pull something that's in your throat out, they had to tie my hands down.

" Dulzura, ¿ estás bien?

" Sweetie, you're okay.

¿ Hiciste ruido porque te impresiona que sepa esa palabra?

Were you making a noise because you're impressed that I knew that word?

De nada.

You're welcome.

Ahora te vamos a filmar haciendo :

Now we're gonna have to, like, pick up a shot of you going :

Sí, porque estamos aquí.

Um, yeah, because we're here.

Tienen unos cinco segundos para levantar la mano.

You've got, like, five seconds to raise your hand, if you're close.

¿ Diría que es cristiano?

You would say you're Christian?

Estamos en Los Ángeles.

We're in Los Angeles.

Está bien, es cristiano.

All right, you're a Christian.

Es como que hasta ahora, Troy, decías : " Dios, sé que hay SIDA, violaciones, hambrunas, y genocidios, y asesinatos.

You know, it's like, up until now, Troy, you're saying, " God... I know that there's AIDS and rape and famine and genocide and murder.

Salvo que sirvas semen.

Unless you're serving come.

Votan totalmente contra su bien.

They're voting completely against their best interest.

Y cuentan con el Servicio Nacional de Salud, y esa es una gran promesa falsa.

And they're counting on the NHS, and that was a big sham promise.

Y serán desnudistas.

And they're gonna be strippers.

Estamos todos escuchando las mismas...

We're all just listening to the same...

Estás perfecta.

That's good. You're perfect.