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Like, at home you would never cook up a pork chop on your skillet, you know, and make it nice and hot on one side, then turn it over, make it hot on the other side, and then cut into it and see how it's going in the middle. And then you go, "Man, I'm going to love eating this delicious pork chop."
En casa, nunca pondrían una chuleta en un sartén para freírla de un lado, voltearla, freírla del otro lado, cortarla para ver si está cocida y luego decir : " Vaya, me va a encantar comerme esta chuleta.
"Why did you have to put a horse into it? Like, what..."
¿ Por qué tenías que añadir un caballo?
And would it be so illegal for you to get me her address?
¿ Y sería muy ilegal si me dieras su dirección?
- We're not going to make it.
- No lo vamos a lograr.
Dolls, Doc... we have to find out if they made it.
Dolls, Doc... tenemos que averiguar si lo han conseguido.
You tell us where it is, or there will be no end to the cuts I make on this fragile body of yours.
Dinos dónde está, o no pondré fin a los cortes que haré en tu cuerpo frágil.
"You've got to give it to him, that's the worst part of it."
Deben admitirlo, esa es la peor parte ".
As soon as it's hot enough to eat, I'll eat it.
Tan pronto esté bien cocida, me la comeré.
The guy shows up and he's got a big tray at a canted angle, and every confection known to man is on it.
Aparece un sujeto con un carrito lleno de toda clase de postres.
"You have got to be careful with that acid, on account of you can do it,"
" Ten cuidado con el ácido.
But the point of the whole thing is for me to tell you young folk... that it's not...
El punto de todo esto es que quiero decirle a los jóvenes que nada de eso es verdad.
Then it's time to go down to the rope store in my opinion, because...
Entonces, pienso que es hora de ir a comprar una soga.
It's not going to get better, you know?
Las cosas no mejoran luego de eso.
He knew it wasn't the real Mickey Mouse. He had to have. "
Y obviamente sabía que no era realmente Mickey Mouse.
I think if I were to do it - and I don't think I ever would... But you never know.
Si yo fuese a hacerlo, y no creo que lo haga, pero nunca se sabe.
This is what I would do if it ever happened to me.
Esto es lo que haría si me llegase a pasar.
I was in the airport, and guys were asking me for my ID, and it occurred to me that ID is a strange abbreviation, because "I" is short for "I,"
Estaba en el aeropuerto y me pidieron mi identificación. Ellos la llaman "ID" para abreviar, y es raro, porque la "I" significa "I", y la "D"... significa "dentificación", entonces...
It seems to me "D" is doing most of the... legwork on that one.
Me parece que la "D" está haciendo... la mayoría del trabajo.
And, finally, it occurred to me.
Y finalmente lo deduje.
"Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," all it really means is you can go to Vegas, you can have sex with a prostitute... And she will not tell your wife.
"Lo que pasa en Las Vegas, se queda en Las Vegas" significa que vas allá, puedes tener sexo con una prostituta... y ella no se lo dirá a tu esposa.
And you would give it to this old man, and he would go behind some beads and stuff, you know?
Se lo daban a un anciano y él iba a un cuarto tras una cortina.
Nobody was happy... because it took so long to get your picture taken.
Nadie estaba feliz porque tomar una foto tardaba demasiado.
"It damn sure ain't going to be Marjorie, I'll tell you that."
Sé que Marjorie no se levantará a hacerlo ".
And Michael Collins, in one of the... just most unfair jokes - I don't know what it was - he got to go all the way to the moon but not go on the moon.
Y Michael Collins, en una de... las bromas más injustas, no sé en qué rayos pensaban, pudo llegar la Luna, pero no pudo caminar en ella.
It turned out to be the greatest comic novel ever written, but when it started it was supposed to be a memoir, you know?
Resultó ser la mejor novela cómica, pero al principio debía ser una memoria, ¿ saben?
'You can lead a horse to water, " but you can't make it drink.'"
'Puedes llevar un caballo al río, pero no puedes obligarlo a beber'".
"That means you can take a person, you know," and you can give them all the information and everything, "but he still has to be the one to absorb it himself."
"Significa que puedes hallar a una persona, darle información y todo lo que necesita, pero él debe tener la voluntad de hacer las cosas".
"You thought I was so stupid you needed to make it into some fable? Like, what..."
¿ Creíste que era tan estúpido que debías volverlo un cuento?
And it went from her... from her wrist, all the way up her arm, right to her shoulder.
Iba desde su muñeca, por su brazo hasta su hombro.
It doesn't scare me that much, but... it's supposed to scare you.
Bueno, no me asusta mucho, pero se supone que me asuste.
But it's fun to get old, you know?
Pero es divertido envejecer.
And then, just by luck or coincidence, they went to a commercial, and it was a commercial starring Lee Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man, but as he is today, like an old man.
Y entonces, por suerte o coincidencia, empezó un comercial, y el comercial era protagonizado por Lee Majors, el Hombre Nuclear, pero como es hoy, un hombre viejo.
"It's funny you say that, Jerome," because when you say it, I realize that that's only one tenth of what I used to get from a single episode of...
Qué gracioso, Jerome, cuando lo dijiste, me di cuenta que eso es una décima parte de lo que solía ganar con un episodio de...
"So uh..." we would be glad to send you some brochures. "It's uh..."
Entonces... quisiéramos enviarle algunos folletos.
And it's funny that some of the commandments are very easy to obey, and some are very difficult.
Es curioso que algunos mandamientos son fáciles de cumplir y otros muy difíciles.
Well, it's pretty easy to obey that, you know?
Es fácil cumplir con ese.
And uh... the guy who sold it to me didn't tell me about all the fucking diseases this thing has.
Y el sujeto que me lo vendió no me dijo nada de las malditas enfermedades que tenía.
And I'm not supposed to covet it? I...
¿ Cómo se supone que no lo codicie?
But it's good, you know, not to lie, but it's very, very hard, you know, not lying, because you want people to like you and...
Pero es bueno no mentir, pero es muy, muy difícil no mentir, porque todos quieren ser agradables.
"Then, afterwards," I'm going to invite them over to the house "and set it on fire, killing them all."
Y luego, los invitaré a la casa y la incendiaré, matándolos a todos.
"And then I'm going to move on to the next town, where I do it again."
Y luego, me mudaré a otro pueblo y lo haré todo de nuevo'".
We don't need to hear it. "
Ya fue suficiente.
I don't want to get too political with you, but it's a true fact.
No quiero entrar en política, pero es un hecho real.
But, you know, you're supposed to crunch up cans, and I think it's a good thing, you know?
Pero, ya saben, debemos aplastar las latas, y creo que es algo bueno.
It's always supposed to be for the people from the future.
Se supone que es para la gente del futuro.
Everybody knows it, but it's harder to act on it, it is.
Todos lo saben, pero es difícil cumplirlo.
Like, you think it's hard to love people - a dog loves everybody.
Creen que es difícil amar a otros. Un perro ama a todos.
"Remember yesterday when you threw that bone and it turned out to be a rubber bone?"
"¿ Recuerdas cuando lanzaste ese hueso ayer y era de goma?".
"Yeah, it was a joke. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Si, era una broma, no quise herirte".
I didn't like him before it was cool not to like him.
Lo odiaba antes que estuviese de moda odiarlo.
- I can't let them get away with this without handing it off to the one lawyer I know who cares enough to see this thing through.
No puedo dejar que se salgan con la suya sin pasarlo al único abogado que sé que le importa para seguirlo.
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