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But my dad was there.
Mais mon père était là.
It was very exciting... but really strict.
C'était très excitant, mais très sévère.
So, it is a very interesting dynamic to feel both of them in the room, to be cornered by them both, to feel two men of not only great size, but that they were powerful because they represented God.
C'était une dynamique intéressante de les sentir tous les deux dans la pièce, d'être piégée par les deux, de sentir ces deux hommes non seulement imposants, mais puissants parce qu'ils représentaient Dieu.
But then I learned that :
Mais j'ai appris que :
Not only the nuns, but the priests, they were on a whole different level.
Pas seulement des religieuses, mais les prêtres, c'était encore pire.
But this priest, Father Joseph Maskell, there was something about him.
Mais ce prêtre, père Joseph Maskell, il avait quelque chose.
Probably most kids wouldn't have questioned him, but... I just let it go.
La plupart des gamins n'auraient pas posé de question, mais je n'ai pas pu me retenir.
But I'll also never forget the look he gave me.
Je n'oublierai jamais le regard qu'il m'a lancé.
But there were a few young ones, too.
Mais quelques jeunes aussi.
"I'd yell, too, but I took a vow of silence."
"J'aimerais crier, mais j'ai fait vœu de silence."
But Cathy could see that something was wrong with me.
Mais Cathy voyait bien que quelque chose n'allait pas.
She had the courage to not only address me, but she also addressed him.
Elle avait eu le courage non seulement de s'adresser à moi, mais aussi de s'adresser à lui.
One teacher, uh, said : "I know he's weird and all, but you have to go."
"Je sais qu'il est bizarre, mais tu dois y aller."
She acted like she didn't know, but yet her face said she did know.
Elle a fait celle qui ne savait pas, mais son visage exprimait le contraire.
And then he took the gun, he put it up to my... my temple, and he pulled the trigger, and he said he will do the same thing, but he'll keep the bullets in.
Il a pris son arme, l'a mise contre ma tempe et a appuyé sur la détente en disant qu'il ferait pareil, mais avec des balles cette fois.
He... But he presented it more as a challenge, you know, and with me saying, "Oh, you can't," and he's like, "Oh, let's just see."
Il a présenté ça comme un défi parce que je n'y croyais pas, et il disait : "Tu verras."
And, true, they break... but some are coupled in a rainbowed joining and float, and are, and burst together.
Et c'est vrai, elles se brisent, mais certaines se réunissent par deux en un arc-en-ciel et volent, et vivent, et éclatent ensemble.
The... The nuns took vows for X number of years, but then they reached the point where they would shift taking temporary vows to take final vows, and she was facing that.
Les religieuses prononçaient des vœux pour quelques années, puis il arrivait un moment où elles devaient prononcer leurs vœux définitifs, et Cathy était arrivée à cette étape.
" I feel like I'm about to jump off a cliff, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
" J'ai comme l'impression de me jeter dans le vide, mais je me lance quand même.
But I look back now and say, if at that time she was aware... of priests sexually abusing the girls at Archbishop Keough, then maybe that's what she wanted to talk about.
Mais avec le recul, je me dis que si j'avais su à l'époque que des prêtres agressaient sexuellement des filles de Keough, c'est peut-être de ça dont elle voulait parler.
But it never happened.
Ce n'est pas arrivé.
But the depth of spiritual growth was... It was a gift.
Mais la profondeur de notre croissance spirituelle était... comme un don.
But for the first nine years of our marriage, I would always say to him I liked him and I thought he should go out and find somebody who could really appreciate the love that he was... bestowing on me.
Mais pendant nos neuf premières années de mariage, je lui disais que je l'aimais bien, mais qu'il fallait qu'il se trouve quelqu'un qui apprécierait vraiment l'amour qu'il me prodiguait.
And at the end of it... was a memory that I had always had a part of it... but not the whole part.
Finalement, je me suis rappelée d'un souvenir que j'avais toujours eu en moi mais partiellement.
But at the same time, I was consumed by what was happening inside of me.
Et en même temps, ce que je vivais intérieurement me dévorait.
I not only hoped that I was insane,'cause I would have rather it been that than this really did happen, but I was a grown woman who had a sense of who I was.
J'aurais préféré être folle que de me dire que c'était vraiment arrivé. Mais j'étais adulte et assez sûre de moi.
So, at this time I'm still very Catholic, but I've stopped going to church.
J'étais encore très catholique, mais je n'allais plus à l'église.
He proceeded through the course of a couple visits to tell me that Magnus had died... but that Father Maskell was an active pastor downtown at Holy Cross.
Au cours d'une de nos rencontres, il m'a annoncé que Magnus était mort. mais que le père Maskell était toujours pasteur en ville, à Sainte-Croix.
Maybe two pieces of paper, and he said I was the first to voice a complaint like this about Joseph Maskell... but that he believed me.
Il a dit que j'étais la première à me plaindre de Joseph Maskell, mais qu'il me croyait.
I wouldn't wanna talk about these things with anyone, much less with a priest across the table and a lawyer and another lawyer. But, um...
Je ne voulais en parler à personne, encore moins à un prêtre en face de moi, un avocat et un autre avocat.
I was afraid to go in, but I did.
J'y suis allée, bien que j'avais peur.
But I was afraid of saying no.
Mais j'avais peur de refuser.
I've now remembered... not just the abuse that these two priests had done... but also there's other adults, like the police... and this Brother Bob...
non seulement des sévices que m'avaient fait subir ces prêtres, mais aussi d'autres adultes, comme ce policier et le frère Bob, dont j'ai été la victime.
But I'd give them names of adults and they say : " We can't go up to someone and say :
Mais je donnais des noms d'adultes à qui ils ne pouvaient pas dire :
But she was trying to put in place in her life the things that she needed to get her through this rough time...
Elle essayait de consolider ce qui allait lui permettre de surmonter ces moments difficiles.
We understand your reservations about doing this, but you also understand that our hands are tied in dealing with the priest unless we have corroboration.
Nous pouvons comprendre vos réserves, mais comprenez également que nous avons les mains liées face à ce prêtre, sans cette corroboration.
That's what the meeting was for. Right.
C'était le but de la réunion.
I wouldn't say taboo... but the level of conversation we had took a completely different twist during that meeting.
Je ne dirais pas que c'était tabou, mais la conversation a pris une autre tournure pendant cette réunion.
But the fact that she was saying, "I killed her..."
Mais elle disait : "Je l'ai tuée..."
But nevertheless... I mean, it was... I believed her.
Cela dit, je l'ai crue.
But she had such a great support network.
Mais elle avait beaucoup de soutien.
And she says, "Oh, yes, but it'll cost you ten bucks."
Elle a répondu : "Oui, mais ce sera dix dollars."
" I don't know who you are, but I sure know a lot about Keough.
" J'ignore qui vous êtes, mais je sais des tas de choses sur Keough.
But the latter part of tenth grade, I would go to coffeehouses at Gibbons.
Mais à la fin de ma seconde, j'allais dans les cafés à Gibbons.
I'm not supposed to touch... the students, but sometimes this is necessary. "
Je ne dois pas toucher les étudiantes, mais c'est parfois nécessaire. "
But this was the dark side of the world.
Mais Maskell, c'était le côté obscur du monde.
But I ended up getting married and having children when I was 18, 19.
Mais j'ai fini par me marier et j'ai eu des enfants à 18 et 19 ans.
But that all scared me more because it made it more real.
Mais ça ne faisait qu'accentuer ma peur, ça devenait plus réel.
But it wasn't crazy if other people had experienced it, too.
Mais ce n'était pas de la folie si d'autres l'avaient vécu.
"I know... I don't know what all's down there, but I know where it's buried."
"Je ne sais pas tout ce qu'il y a en-dessous, mais je sais où c'est enterré."
"This could be very bad for you if you get deeply into it," but, "Your family could pay the price."
"C'est dangereux de trop fouiller, votre famille pourrait en payer le prix."
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