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Then you had to sync all your bombs and your devices to the same jihad ID.
Tinham de sincronizar as bombas e os dispositivos com o ID "jihad".
♪ If you're Hindu and you know it Clap your hands ♪
Se és hindu, bate as palmas
♪ If you're Hindu and you know it Then you really want to show it ♪
Se és hindu, e o quiseres mostrar
But if the door opened and you heard somebody say... you would order everything on the menu.
Se a porta estiver aberta e ouvirem entram e pedem os pratos todos.
And you're not going to get rid of the guns.
E não vão desfazer-se delas.
Eat a cheeseburger in Maharashtra, and you'll find out what that shit is. "
Come um'cheeseburger'em Maharashtra, e logo vês. "
♪ If you're racist and you know it Clap your hands ♪
Se fores racista e souberes Bate palmas
And you know me.
E vocês me conhecem.
You were born a Fury, and you will always be a Fury.
Tu nasceste uma Fúria, e sempre será uma Fúria.
And you would go, "I will have a cherry pie."
E eu dizia : "Quero uma tarte de cereja."
"Last I checked, I was the orator in the family and you were the fucking insane lady."
Tanto quanto sei o orador da família sou eu e tu és a mulher louca.
And you go, " Wow!
E nós dizemos :
And you get there and go, "Hey, what the fuck happened to the cherry tree?"
Chegam lá e dizem : " O que aconteceu à merda da cerejeira?
And you can only get them at parties.
E só as há nas festas.
Do you agree with me, ladies and gentlemen? Yes or no.
Concordam comigo ou não?
And then you're all set to go up to heaven and get your 72 virgins, but your iCloud only holds six virgins, and now you have to upgrade.
Só depois é que estavam prontos para as 72 virgens, mas como o iCloud só suporta seis virgens, mais um "upgrade".
But it wasn't religious. You just wanted the fucking trees and the shopping, right?
Vocês só queriam a porra das árvores e as compras.
" Oh, I love what you've done with the plating and the arrangement.
" Adorei o empratamento e o arranjo.
Like, if you walked past an Indian restaurant and there was beautiful pictures of food, you would not go into that restaurant, would you, ladies and gentlemen?
Passem por um restaurante indiano, com aquelas fotos bonitas, vocês não entram, pois não?
This is why you don't have Indian terrorists, ladies and gentlemen.
Por isso não há terroristas indianos.
We would put an accountant in the building, buy the building, make sure there's real estate investments all around that building, wait ten years and sell the property back to you at an 80 percent escalation.
Púnhamos lá um contabilista, comprávamos o edifício, uns bons apartamentos na mesma zona, esperávamos 10 anos e vendíamos aquilo ao antigo dono por mais 80 %.
I'm going to tell you a story about racism, ladies and gentlemen, and I guarantee you at some point, you're going to get uncomfortable.
Vou contar uma história sobre racismo. Garanto-vos que vão sentir-se desconfortáveis.
I submit to you that that is not racism on two counts, ladies and gentlemen.
Ora isto não é racismo, por duas razões.
But if you make a small left and look at that, it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
Mas, se virem aquilo de outro ângulo, é das coisas mais belas que eu já vi.
If you took that man out of Tamil Nadu and dropped him right here in the middle of New York City, he'd walk around in Harlem just going, " You black, black.
Se tirarem o homem de Tamil Nadu e o trouxerem para aqui, em Nova Iorque, ele vai para o Harlem e começa :
And I guarantee you, Allah's just up in heaven like, " Fuck!
E Alá, lá no céu : " Foda-se!
He sends them a message and he's like, "Hey, girl, you up?"
Manda uma mensagem : "Tás pronta?"
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? "
Jura dizer a verdade, só a verdade e nada mais do que a verdade? "
Do you know that according to 377, oral and anal are also against the law?
O art.º 377 também diz que o sexo oral e anal são ilegais.
And which one of you bastard engineers came up with "typing, typing, typing, typing"?
Raio do engenheiro que inventou o "A escrever, a escrever."
and says, "Vir, did you change your Facebook status last night?"
e diz : "Ontem, mudaste o teu'status'no Facebook?"
And I said, "Hi. My name is Vir Das." And she said, "Oh, I know who you are."
Disse-lhe : "Olá, sou o Vir Das." E ela : "Eu sei quem és."
I read an article in the newspaper that you wrote about love. And she's like, " No.
E ela : " Não.
And I think you get love in this really cool, groovy way. "
É daquele teu artigo de jornal sobre o amor. Também acho que o amor pode ser fixe e maravilhoso. "
Can you take me back and start to talk about this and build our relationship? "
Podes aceitar-me de novo e continuar a nossa relação? "
I could tell you that this is good-bye for a while because I want to go across the world, and I want to show them that Indian comedy is more than just head-bobble jokes and funny accents.
Ou dizer-vos que este adeus não é para sempre porque quero mostrar ao mundo que comédia indiana é mais do que abanar a cabeça ou sotaques.
And I know that you'd understand.
Sei que iriam compreender.
If you think the Female Furies can just march into Super Hero High and grab that thing, you're getting dizzy.
Se achas que as Fúrias Femininas pode simplesmente marchar até ao liceu de Super Herói e agarrar essa coisa, está a ficar estupida.
But between you and me,
Mas entre mim e ti...
Do as you're programmed and everything will be super.
Faz o que estás programado para fazer e tudo ficará super.
If you were really sorry, you'd drop Super Hero High and come to Korugar, where you can learn how to use your superpowers to bring glory to yourself and our family.
Se realmente lamentas muito, Sai da Academia Super Herói e vem para Korugar, onde podes aprender como usar os teus superpoderes para trazer glória para ti mesmo e nossa família.
You will answer my calls and make responses to my e-messages.
Tu vais responder às minhas chamadas, e dar respostas aos meus e-mails.
Platinum, have you analyzed the footage and their fighting techniques?
Platina, já analisaste as técnicas de luta deles? Sim.
You really think you and Supergirl can beat me and Bleez in the biathlon?
Realmente achas que tu e a Super girl pode derrotar-me e a Bleez no Biatlo?
Attacking Super Hero High will cost you an arm and a leg.
Atacar a Academia de Super Herói vai custar-lhe um braço e uma perna.
And for my greatness, I'm sacrificing you.
E para a minha grandeza, Eu estou sacrificar-me por ti.
And I realized that you... you eat at a restaurant different than you eat at home, you know?
E percebi que, no restaurante, não comemos como em casa.
Like, at home you would never cook up a pork chop on your skillet, you know, and make it nice and hot on one side, then turn it over, make it hot on the other side, and then cut into it and see how it's going in the middle. And then you go, "Man, I'm going to love eating this delicious pork chop."
Em casa não fazíamos uma costeleta de porco na frigideira, aquecendo-a bem de um lado, virando-a e aquecendo do outro, cortando-a no meio para ver como está, e pensar : " Meu, vou adorar comer esta deliciosa costeleta de porco!
You know there's a story about George Washington, and they say, "Oh, He chopped down a cherry tree,"
Há uma história sobre o George Washington. Dizem que cortou uma cerejeira quando era criança.
And then you go inside, and there's your child... with an axe.
Depois entram em casa, e encontram o vosso filho... com um machado.
And then you go, "OK."
E nós dizemos : " Certo.
and you know it 1023
and you know 574
and your daughter 42
and you're welcome 67
and you too 176
and your wife 79
and you didn't tell me 78
and you're next 17
and your father 132
and you're here 49
and you know 574
and your daughter 42
and you're welcome 67
and you too 176
and your wife 79
and you didn't tell me 78
and you're next 17
and your father 132
and you're here 49